1. Questions, answers and confusion

I read a paper that suggested I write in order to help me find some clarity in discovering a research topic..
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​This is my first attempt at using this exercise to find such clarity. Strangely enough, writing has become quite a cumbersome and loathsome activity to me. Surely I am quite capable of undertaking the task.

However, it feels my motivations for doing such are questionable. As a young man in my teenage years and into my early 20's, writing and making art seemed to me to be about communicating a message of 'self' of 'self and being understood' or the 'self and the world' and my relationship to both.

Back in those 90's and early 2000's my art and self seemed of critical importance. Fast forward 20 years and we live in a world that could be interpreted as a celebration of the ego, a cellerbration of the self. To be an artist these days seems to entail being your own social media star, been the publisher of your own uniquness. Is this an advancedment in the sense that the playing field is more even? ie. no longer does one need to be noticed by an establihsed media organistion to get exporuse. Or could this be seen as some sort of regression into the deepy seedy underbelly of the self to what purpose?

Or in other words. Why do people post on social media? Why do people share art? Why do people engage with others?
Why do I make art? what is my motivation in this human experience?

One could see these questions as essentialy been evidence of my own doubt projected onto this blank white screen (and rightly so!) . So, in order to extend these words and try to further understand such sentiments I ponder....

Why do I want to do research? What do I want to study honours? What is my motivation? What is my hope from undertaking these formal activities? What do I want my future career to look like? what is my research question?

This word keeps circulating around my head "tempo'...

I try to unpick my fascination with the topic, speed, time, speed and time and affect. 
Events in time, vibrations of objects at different speeds in time, multisenory informtation.
Reception context. Drumming  at differeing speeds, the effect of drumming at different speeds, entrainment...

Why do events in time illicit particular responses?

Does the tempo of sensory events change or create feelings of stress/relaxtion in different enviroments and different contexts?

Why does the music of Bohren and Der Club of Gore seem to make me feel less anxious?

What effect can be garnered from creating sonic works with more than two simultaenous tempos?

Does the tempo of nature sounds create different affects for a human listener?

Does repetive drumming at different speeds create a physiological and pyschological efefct for the drummer and listener?